A new adventure and finally letting go.
I admit it, I was afraid to take an independent project gig because I was afraid it would diminish me, both in my own mind and to the collective (un)conscience in the industry that would think less of me. My fear spoke to me about losing my edge, like I was falling back in retreat, telling me that others were thinking I was a failure in the Major Leagues - now getting sent down to the minors. Was I too old, and skipped-over by gMils? Has software and google replaced talent and ingenuity?
Above all that mental din, was my ambition, that carrot on a stick Hollywood used to motivate me - those jerks even made me pay for my own carrot - well it (my ambition) was now betraying me, it teamed-up with fear. Oh, it betrayed me before, but I was too numb from my rusty moral compass as my friends got unfairly laid-off, “laycation” we called it followed by a strained laugh as I just sat there and did nothing while a manager dragged-off the bodies without a word.
Well, in May, I came to my senses and took the gig, I am now here in Cape Town, yes, the one in Africa, and I do not know what took me so long. I just had the most amazing month of my entire career. I travelled to multiple countries for development with a great, talented crew with almost zero ego, a big-budget and a lot of hard problems to solve… so much like my first days at the 3-letter studio I loved so much.
So now, I am a Show Supervisor on an Animated Feature - terrifyingly wonderful. Thank you ILM. Thank you CAMd - you all changed my life. Thank you family for encouraging this adventure. AND, thank you friends for telling me that I deserve this - which is yet to be confirmed.
Let me end with a pitch; I can’t recommend a good independent gig enough, you have nothing to lose but wheel-barrels full of stress, pounds of adipose tissue and that @%$ carrot - chuck that thing - it’s killing you and rusting your compass.
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